At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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