just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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