and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
