all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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