What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
