I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
