it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
