you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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