i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
