I just cut my nipple shaving
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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