I want to stick my p in your. b.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
