can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Drake has all the answers
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
