Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
