Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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