I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
