Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
