i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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