sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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