that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
