I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
