I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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