Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize