Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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