Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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