If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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