I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
