My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
