these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
