It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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