I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
