ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
