Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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