Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
