Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
