I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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