I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
