that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
