Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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