I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
where does the pee come out of this thing
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize