Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
