They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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