Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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