I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize