I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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