So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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