I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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