a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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