She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
