It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize
