he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
