You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
