He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
