She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize