I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
