Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
