I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
