Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He better not be in your backpack
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
