I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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