next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
