Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
