I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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