Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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