she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize