You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
time to smoke my breakfast
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
