best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
