honey bunches of taint.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
