thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
