I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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